IDENTITY CHANGE

Identity is how humans perceive themselves.

Identities are so deep rooted because every single thing that happens to us, what we do, how we react, forms what our identity is.

Long story short our identity is the painting of us, drawn by ourselves. Everything from our emotions to our limitations are controlled by it. That’s what we don’t realise, is that we are capable of so many different things, but if it goes outside our known characteristics, we end up not doing it.

Your Identity is built through everything you do, say and believe. So you can imagine how important it is to understand how to change and control it.

Well done, that's Phase 1.

Keep going...

Throughout my life, I have always been quite a scared kid.

Scared in the manor that I was afraid of confrontation, I wouldn’t stick up for myself, and overall would let anyone walk over me.

Overtime it would just set into me more and more that I was weak.

After I became too self aware of this fact I wanted to change it, but when the opportunity would come around I’d just hide back in the shell of my old identity, who I once was.

I kept asking myself, why is it everyone else can stick up for themselves but I can’t?

I didn’t realise it at the time, but it’s because I’d made it such a strong rooted part of my core. So, it felt impossible to change it.

After years of being a coward and hiding behind something, I did it. I made the change, it felt like I’d just climbed Mount Everest, when all I’d done was say the word no to staying on longer at work.

Now as small as this may seem, for me it was a huge point of interest. I had done something which did not align with my old identity.

The pushover had been proved wrong and I had planted the seed for a new identity.

For you, this may be you're uncomfortable in the gym or social interactions. How about this, the next time you're in a situation where you would say no to going to the gym, say yes. The next time you see someone with nice shoes, tell them.

Break that barrier of fear like i did.

I used to watch loads of these ‘alpha motivational’ TikTok's, where they’d get up at 5am and run straight away and they wouldn’t watch social media and they’d just work all day.

A part of me really would say to myself, I wish I could do that. I wish I could be like that. But the reality is, I can.

If you really think about it, what’s stopping you from waking up at 5 and going for a run, what’s stopping you from eating junk all day, what’s stopping you from working on something you want?

The answer is you & excuses.

You can give as many excuses as you want, but in reality you’re just avoiding it because it’s not your identity.

If you want to change your identity, stop trying so hard and just do it. Stop trying to quit smoking, you don’t smoke, stop trying to wake up early, just do it.

You won’t ever become that new version of yourself, unless you do things which they would.

You have to live as they would, act as they would, and just be them. The more you do it, the more solid the identity becomes.

You have to believe in your head that you’re not your old identity trying to build a new one, you just are your new one.

There’s a very common belief that changing your identity and changing who you are takes serious discipline and dedication over a long period of time. Which is true for one reason only.

People are scared of change.

We as humans, find change uncomfortable. So we confide in knowing that the changes are small because we recognise that, as easier and more comfortable.

If you’re in a position where you can be 100% better at the click of a finger, why would we sugar coat it.

You don’t have to wait for things to happen overtime if you can change it by being, not becoming, the person you want to be.

This states that you rise or fall according to the expectations set around you.

This means that the people around you can influence your identity, heavily.

The hard part is : to become a new person whilst still being with people who know your old identity. If it’s friends then chances are you’re going to lose friends and make new ones. More often than not, you’re old friends will do stuff not aligned with you anymore. It’s nothing personal on them, they just aren’t the sort of people you want to be around anymore.

It’s going to feel weird, they may dislike you because of it, but you’ll get over it. If you need to rise to a new identity you need to change the people surrounding you.

If all the people around you smoke cannabis all day, eat junk food and waste their lives, then that’s not bringing you up at all.

A new friend group, a mentor, anything at all. You need to surround yourself with people more aligned with your internal beliefs.

If it’s your family, then both you and them are just going to have to accept it. A lot of them never will, 90% of my family can’t understand why I don’t drink alcohol, I don’t even bother telling them anything about trying to build a business or self-development as a whole, it’s just a waste of time and I acknowledge that.

Sometimes, the best way to help people like that understand is to just quietly do it, and show them after.

If you feel a lack of support on your journey, make sure you drop us a DM, we are here to help.

There is a human need to stay consistent with our identity.

The need to make sure we stay consistent with who we believe to be.

The problem is, most of our identities are negative and unhealthy. That’s why you’re wanting to change in the first place. But that’s also why we find it so difficult, because our identities are who we are, so we almost resist the change.

We also tend to have a pretty heavy negativity bias, where negative things attach to our identity stronger, and also hang around longer than anything else. But understand this ; the old identity is fighting to stay alive.

That’s why it feels uncomfortable, because in a way, you have to kill a part of yourself for a new one to be born.

It needs all the factors combining together.

Changing all the things you used to do for things you now do, literally becoming that new identity.

A change of environment in terms of surrounding people, so you rise to the new levels of expectation, not sink to the old levels. This is vital as you are often the equal of the 5 people you spend most time with, so if you continue to be around people who bring you down then you’re going to stay at their level.

What you also need to realise is that a change in identity requires evidence. If you want to become a new person, you have to prove to yourself you can.

Do things they would do, do the 5 am runs, stop the smoking, and you build evidence towards your new self and identity.

The more proof you provide yourself with, the easier it will be to fully move out of the old identity.

Visualisation - I’m not one for these affirmations in the mirror, but visualisation still has its place in the world. If you visualise yourself, everyday, as the person you want to be, you will to start to, just by accident, do things which are characteristic of that new self. Action typically follows thought, if you think you are, you will start to act as you are, and if you act as you are, you become.

I know I said earlier that you can change your identity in the snap of a finger, which is true, but the old identity loves to hang on for dear life and there’s always some parts that seem impossible to get rid of.

Which is why you need to prove to yourself you have a new identity through doing all the above.

Keep going, this journey is not easy but it;'s worth it.

We believe in you.