When I use the word gratitude I can’t help but think of it as a buzzword used by gurus.

Who preach about life and to just be grateful for what you have. But it seems hard to understand the mix between being grateful but wanting to strive for more.

Gratitude does not mean you are just satisfied with how you are living, because most of us are not, we always want something better.

But it’s possible to have goals and work for them, whilst simultaneously being grateful for what you have & have done.

The biggest problem is that most people who preached gratitude as being grateful, were either :

A- Very successful and basically had everything they wanted or

B- Somebody on the other extreme telling you to burn everything you ever owned and be grateful for what you have and never get more.

Now I wanted to be somewhere in between, I want to set goals, work hard towards them and always push to keep improving. But at the same time, be grateful for the fact that I am actually able to do so because so many people aren’t.

So I’m going to run through the middle ground I have found.

You see, all humans are wired the same. If something happens very often it is seen as the norm.

The body and brain will react in such a way that it is used to whatever it is that is happening.

Me waking up is a normal thing, me being able to walk is normal, because it has happened every day of my life.

This normal behaviour comes with a sense of entitlement, where you forget that not everyone is in the same position.

Which is why you see so many rich kids complaining that they don’t have a new coloured Ferrari for every new day of the week. Because for them, this is how they live, it’s just the norm.

But, everybody’s norm is different.

For a poor African family their norm might be walking 12 miles every morning just to get water.

The point is, gratitude teaches us to be happy for the things we have which we perceive as normal.

Every morning you wake up breathing should be a grateful day because somebody wasn’t as fortunate.

To break the cycles of the norm, it's a case of being mindful. (see phase x)

The other reason you are ungrateful is your attention span. Your attention span which doesn't allow you to be focused on one thing for more than 3 seconds at a time because it's so fried, means you cannot appreciate things.

Social media has really got most of the population in a mental decline in terms of both ability and health.

Gratitude requires mindfulness, and your attention span most likely does not. The feeling you need for constant distraction should be the warning sign to you. Try go a whole day without your phone and see how long it takes for you to pick it up or feel boredom without it. Let your attention span reset, and it's not just gratitude that will improve.

Chronic Dissatisfaction is far too common.

Everybody is aware of the feeling they have that they are not successful enough, relationships aren’t fulfilling enough, you aren’t as good looking as you could be etc etc.

A type of mindset that makes you look outward with envy and inward with disappointment.

Social media makes this worse because it appears that everyone else has everything you ever want, and you are reminded of it constantly.

Most of these people manufacture this image to greater their own pride, whilst simultaneously making others feel worse.

Everyone seems to chase the life of others in hopes it will make them happy, and because they don’t have it they must be miserable.

Well if that’s the case why do you see people in far worse countries with nothing but the clothes on their back, being happier than us?

Well imagine for one second that you are critically ill, in hospital not knowing if you will recover. Every wish you could ever have is just to make sure you recover and be healthy again.

That’s why people who have been in such horrible conditions and recover, live such a happy life, because they are so abundantly grateful to even be here with us.

Most of us are lucky enough to not have life threatening diseases, but if you have never been so low, it’s hard to appreciate what we have as it’s the norm for us.

So, getting rid of this constant dissatisfaction requires a small frame shift.

A frame shift to not just compare yourself to people more successful but to realise you are that person to someone else, and that someone else could have been you just years ago.

The reason a frame shift is needed is because the journey we go through is too immersive.

It takes up every bit of brain power you have being on it, so it’s so easy to just end up going through life forward whilst basically being unconscious to your surroundings.

Look back on where you were a year ago, what did you wish for then?

What did you wish you had done by now?

What position were you in?

Chances are if you’re reading this sort of thing then you’re trying to actually progress your life.

It’s funny because sometimes you find yourself living what you wished for. Look at what you have achieved in comparison to years ago?

If you have made progress, show some gratitude that you actually are on the right path.

If you haven’t then this isn’t the correct type of gratitude for you, work needs to be done before you can be grateful for your work.

The source of the gratitude is your present self being grateful for your past self’s work and how you are reaping the benefits of your own discipline.

This type of gratitude is the most effective for me.

You see being mindful and grateful often cross paths a little.

For me this is things like nature, relationships with family and friends etc.

I’ll elaborate.

Nature - Nature is one of those things for me where it’s just perfect. You can go outside, see the green, smell the air, look at the landscape and it makes you feel this pure bliss. This is why I call it mindful gratitude, because this comes down to being more mindful than anything.

Practising being in the present and being aware of what’s going on as it happens, taking it in, feeling this sense of happiness from such simple things.

Spending time without distractions, just you and what you want to appreciate, is how you find this sense of joy.

Repetition of mindfulness will make you enjoy life for what it is. Whilst also allowing you to strive for better, for progress, for growth.

If you can spend time being mindful with these things you will notice you feel better day in day out.

Doing random mundane tasks, you see a new light in things and it feels like you have been given permission to enjoy what goes on around you.

The more mindful you are, you the more grateful you can be, and well, the happier you can be.

So how can you become more mindful?

My blend is simply this: I am mindful, grateful and present. Just still ambitious to make progress.

I am grateful for the progress I have made and the things I am doing.

Because I think of it this way, I am able to be dissatisfied without being sad. They are two separate feelings, they don't have to be linked.

I make sure I put the work in to achieve more and more. Dreams and goals I have now, will soon be my norm, but I remember how I feel about them now.

I am being as disciplined as I can on the path towards what I want, but appreciating the world as I see it.

Practising gratitude isn’t just stopping and forcing your brain to think positive thoughts about things you appreciate.

Nowadays gratitude doesn’t come very often which is why I say force.

So sometimes you may have to purposefully implant positive thoughts.

I want you to do something as you read this.

Take out something to write on and write down one person or thing you are grateful for.

Write down why and keep it as positive as you can.

Now if you did this you can’t help but notice the feeling you get from actually being grateful for something.

Now practising this everyday improves your mental health by unimaginable amounts.

The most common form is journaling, where you write down a few things you feel grateful for every day.

This isolated time for gratitude lets you feel more present in gratitude allowing it to be felt in other moments.

The most effective form is receiving gratitude from other people. When people tell you they are grateful for something you did, the feeling you get from that is so overwhelmingly strong. So doing things for other people for them to be grateful for you can make you a lot happier.

In the same way that if you tell someone you are abundantly grateful for something they did for you, not only will they feel these strong feelings, but by watching them react to it, it makes you happier too.

It’s like gift giving, the reaction you get from someone liking your gift is better than receiving one. And by telling them you appreciate them, they are far more likely to tell you they are grateful for something you have done, and so your gratitude is returned.

What I find most effective as mentioned earlier is being mindful.

Putting the phone away, going on a walk in nature, just looking at the landscape, sitting in conversation with your family, anything that means you are being present without distractions.

Being mindful is not hard, and there's no set in stone way to do it. It just requires conscious thought when you are first doing it, until you can be mindful without having to actually think about it. Purposefully being present I can promise you everything I own will change your life.

The other very significant way of doing it, is meditating. There will be a full guide to it on information sanctuary.

If you can practise some form of gratitude I can promise you, you will be happier for it.