If you’re reading this I assume you have a fear of cold approaching, starting a conversation, holding one, and knowing what to say.

I assume you’ve seen many people just seem to have an ability to be comfortable in conversations and social situations, not afraid to cold approach and always keep the conversation going, we’ll call them natural communicators.

In the same breath, I’m sure you’ve also seen a million people tell you if you want to get out of the introvert rut to “just do it” “don’t stress” and whereas that might be right, for people who seriously struggle, this just doesn’t work because they’re still afraid to do it.

Maybe you freeze on the spot, maybe you just can’t bring yourself to start, or maybe you just run out of things to say and leave yourself with an awkward silence. Either way, I’ll help you make that change to become natural communicator.

Why believe me ?

Well, i’ve been there. I used to stutter when speaking to people, i felt myself getting overwhelmed in conversation and forgetting what to say.

Now, i feel confident to speak in any public situation, to anyone. I even hope to deliver some in person seminars in the future.

Anyways, i cant stress how important social skills are in order to take your life to the next level…

The First Mistake is going into it with the wrong mindset and how you perceive social situations.

If you think a conversation is scary and a big deal it’s going to be just that, if you think it’s easy, yes it’s gonna be just that.

You give yourself so much pressure on the thought of it, that you end up never going through with it.

You don’t need to carry the entire weight of a conversation on your back, if the person is uninterested or won’t talk then that’s not your fault. Just because a conversation doesn’t go the way you want, doesn’t mean it was because of a lack of social skills on your end.

Applying pressure on yourself for the conversation, you pretty much fail before you start. Pressure does nothing for you in a conversation other than increase the likelihood of it crashing and burning.

Our fix for this, is to just relax, remember everyones going to die one day, each conversation you have is pretty insignificant in the grand scheme of things. Relax, theres no pressure.

No amount of prep can you set you up for a lack of presence.

If you know what to do, but every time you find yourself in a conversation you’re always worrying about what to say, or you freeze up, it is simply because you aren’t present in the conversation because you’re so in your head about it.

The more you think about what to say, the less you seem to have to say.

A conversation is best off the cuff, not a planned script because it sounds unnatural, and it’s noticeable. You need to think less about the conversation and just be immersed in it.

Listen intently and respond to what they say, stop worrying about the perfect response.

Stop feeling pressure to fill in every ounce of silence, it can be annoying, so if it’s really forced don’t say it, by that I mean don’t add in an extra sentence for the sake of it.

That’s where things start to go wrong, stale and boring.

Taking too much gives off the idea your thoughts are all over the place, disorganised.

Plus the more you say the more chances you have for making a mistake.

A conversation is about it flowing, use the silence as a moment to control the pace of the conversation. Take a breath, don’t try rush into saying something if you don’t know, especially if they asked you a question, My favourite is to just say, ‘you know what I actually need to think about that’.

Don’t be scared to not know something, humans have a very good way of detecting bullshit, so be honest.

Hence my first statement, i fucking love silence, i am comfortable in silence, it means im controlling the conversation.

When i don’t know something, im honest, i don’t blab on about a total lie just to seem cool.

Again, the power within social situations comes in the comfortability within them.

So just relax, be patient, be honest.